What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
