His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
