the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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