Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
