I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
