bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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