So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
