My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
