Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
