Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
