I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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