he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
