Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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