I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
