She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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