Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
