I should be sponsored by Trojan
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize