he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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