Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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