I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
