His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
