I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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