Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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