I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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