dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
