So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
