Sry I called you an 8
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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