Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
