I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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