the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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