I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize