i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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