his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
