What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
