Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
