I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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