Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
