Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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