either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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