Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
