I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
