I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
