Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
