Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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