I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
