Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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