you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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