He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize