so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
