its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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