Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
