you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
