her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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