i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
