Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
