We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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