you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
