Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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