i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
