Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
