we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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